Self-Care When Shadow Work Gets Hard
Shadow work has become a popular concept in the spiritual community.
With a plethora of journal prompts, rituals, and dark goddess aesthetic photos accompanying these online conversations, you’ve likely encountered the concept of shadow work more than once. It’s also highly probable that you’ve heard varying opinions on what exactly shadow work is and how it should be done. However, you may not have come across nearly as much information about how challenging facing your shadow can be.
Choosing shadow work is a deeply transformative decision.
Shadow work is the process of unearthing all that hurts you, hinders you, and misaligns you with your Authentic Self so that you can become and experience all that you truly are.
It’s imperative that during this process of deep acknowledgement and healing that you know how to take care of yourself. This doesn’t mean that you take a bath and do a facemask each time you feel some hard insights coming up (unless that’s what feels good for you). Knowing how to take care of yourself means knowing how to truly hold yourself when you’re feeling vulnerable, knowing how to intuitively listen to your body and your feelings for guidance, knowing how to practice self-compassion when life gets painful.
That is true self-care.
In this post, you’ll learn:
the importance of space + grace
why you need to connect with others when things aren’t okay
some affirmations to support your healing
When Shadow Work Gets Hard
It would be easy if shadow work were always as simple as a journal prompt - answer a tough question, have an aha! moment, and then you’re healed.
The uncomfortable thing about shadow work, though, is that it can be a lot more nuanced and intense than we’d like to admit. Sometimes shadow work is staying inside all weekend because you’re feeling burnt out, sometimes it’s having a tough conversation, sometimes it’s removing yourself from a connection or environment, sometimes it’s experiencing an overwhelming cry session, sometimes it’s every negative self-belief arising within you all at once.
Shadow work won’t always feel like the glamorous ritual bath with sage and the moon. There are times when shadow work just hurts.
Though shadow work is a continuous process along the spiritual journey, there are times when it’s more at the forefront of the healing work. I experienced this moment recently, when I spent 4 days in bed due to a culmination of burn out and inner child triggers. Prior to this, I knew something was coming to a head as I was displaying signs of restlessness and anxiety. Yet, I didn’t know how to go about what I was feeling.
Being a planner and action-taker, I was wondering what I could do to combat what was coming up for me. The restlessness then became complete emotional, mental, and physical fatigue, landing me in bed for 4 days as wave after wave of inner child insights came through. I made so many powerful connections about my inner child and how I work as an adult, leading to many tearful nights.
I was learning how to truly be with myself as I learned, felt, and processed, and I’ll be sharing with you how to do the same.
If you’d like to learn more about my experience and insights with shadow work, listen to this podcast episode!
The Importance of Space and Grace
When you’re feeling vulnerable, space is one of the most powerful gifts you can give to yourself. This means that you allow yourself access to the time, resources, environments, comforts, and support that will best serve you in those challenging moments.
What this space will look like should be decided by your intuition and what would feel most supportive to you. If curling up on the couch with your favorite TV show is what would feel best, do that. If spending more time outside would feel better, do that. If sitting in silence would be nice, do that. Whatever your body feels called to do, and that isn’t harmful to yourself or others, do it.
Creating this space of comfort, support, and time is so integral to allowing the shadow work process to happen organically. When you immediately rush into action, into psycho-analyzation, into the aesthetics of “self-care”, you can hinder the healing that’s available to you.
Resources like cognitive therapy and meditation sessions can be so powerful because you’re allowing space for your thoughts and feelings to arise. You have the incredible ability to create this sacred, supportive space for yourself by nurturing your mind and soul when shadow work gets hard. Not only are you communicating love to yourself by doing what would feel good, but you’re also facilitating space for what needs to be acknowledged within you to truly be felt and expressed.
You have to feel it to heal it.
Another integral component of creating this space is being graceful with yourself. It can be incredibly easy to enter a space of judgment during moments like this, especially if you’ve been conditioned to speak negatively to yourself. However, a component of healing is learning how to be gentle with yourself when you’re experiencing rough emotions.
Practice speaking lovingly to yourself, as you would a loved one, when you’re doing intense shadow work. Acknowledge your strength and courage to face those dark aspects of yourself. Celebrate your ability to listen to your intuition. Give yourself many loving hugs and touches as you feel and release.
Remember that the most important person that’s deserving of your love and compassion is you, especially when you’re feeling emotionally tender.
If you’d like some extra support and guidance with creating this sacred space for yourself, learn more about Spiritual Alchemy Coaching here.
*Mystical Shaman Oracle Cards - Click Here to Check Them Out
Connecting with Others When Things Aren’t Okay
Emotional support during shadow work is another amazing gift you can allow yourself to receive. There’s a misconception within the spiritual community that the journey must be a solitary one. The truth is that we are all sacredly connected, meaning that when you allow the presence and support of another during rough times, your healing experience can be significantly enhanced.
Feeling the love that’s available to you as you undergo deep healing can not only strengthen your connection with your loved ones but also your self-connection. In expressing your feelings with others, you create the opportunity for new insights, perspectives, and resources to come through. One decision to share your experience with someone can open a beautiful doorway for your healing.
Expressing yourself is another aspect of the healing journey that can be continuous, especially if you were conditioned to repress or withhold your emotional world from others. However, your loved ones (partners, friends, family, etc.) want to be there for you when things get hard. You do not have to carry anything alone.
Remember that you are more than deserving of support, love, and connection.
*Spiritual Gold Hamsa Tapestry - Click Here to Check it Out
Self-Care Affirmations
Allow these affirmations to support you as you feel, heal, and release.
I shed old beliefs with compassion and create new ones with love.
I shed old ways of being with grace and create new ones with intention.
If you’d like to have these affirmations with you all the time, download them for your phone wallpaper!
The small fee for these wallpapers will symbolize a gratitude donation if this post has served you. So if you’d like to support me, and support yourself with these affirmations, claim yours now!
Shadow work is an intense, deeply transformative process.
Remember that it’s important to care for yourself as you do this powerful work.
Much love and peace,
Alexandria
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